Thursday, November 1, 2012

A Fairy Tale Gone Awry at Life After My Kids (Canadian Feature)

Journeys of The Zoo’s I Am Canadian Feature for November is a fairy tale of sorts written by a woman whose name matches her personality. Charity blogs at Life After My Kids and the story she is going to tell began 15 years ago, in a land not so far away. In fact, she still lives in the same town she was born…

And now for the Fairy Tale from Life After Kids.

Part 1: In which everything is wonderful.

Once upon a time there was a strong, confident, sexy young woman who worked at the local rape crisis centre. She organized large, successful fundraising events, managed an office of seven busy women, and provided peer counselling to other young women. She married her high school sweetheart, they bought a house, and were trying to have a baby.

All was good.

Part 2: In which the “you know what” hits the fan and all hope seems lost.

It turns out her Prince was a Queen, and married his own Prince Charming. Although they remained good friends, and she stayed a part of his larger family (for after 10 years, one cannot casually cut people out of one’s life), this confident young woman broke, lost her way and her faith in Fate – perhaps everything didn’t happen for a reason…

She spent months rebuilding herself, learning what SHE wanted, what HER priorities were. She surrounded herself with other strong, confident women and eventually the pieces came back together. She felt good, strong and healthy.

Love at first sight seemed a fanciful myth, one that she could not imagine would happen to her – but it did. She met another Prince (who definitely liked princesses), with the help of a newly established internet dating site.

The girl did not want to marry again, but all was good and all were happy, and the kingdom rejoiced.

Until the Prince’s mother and the girls grandmother both fell gravely ill.

During this difficult time the girl became pregnant – and this was good, for it gave each family hope and all looked little brighter. The girl was glowing and happy and proud to be able to bring this hope to the families.

But then, with no warning or sign, after five months of being a part of the girl, the baby died. A part of the girl died as did the hope the girl had carried. She was broken again. The glue holding her together deteriorated. How does one fix a vase that has already been mended?

She lived in greyness, the Prince took good care of her and three months later, when his mother died, her fog lifted enough that she could take care of him, for that is what one does.

The week of the funeral came, and with it the bittersweet joy of another pregnancy. They married before Prince Damian was born, and drank to his mother, for she had greatly wanted the grandchild, and to see her son married.

All was well once more.

Two years passed and the girl attended two more funerals, lost another baby, and a second prince was born, Price Dexter. A month after the second prince was born, the girl’s father became very ill. She returned to work, only to lose her job after two months.

Loss seemed to follow the girl. Loss of love, of child, of family. Loss of job, of friendships and of self.

Part 3: In which a light starts to form from within the darkness.

Seven years passed from her first miscarriage before she found a way out of the darkness. for these seven years there has been a ghost living with her, growing older each year. A ghost of (perhaps) a little princess who would have been a big sister to Prince Damian. The hole inside the girl will never be filled. But, with help it has been patched and holds still.

The girl started to write again, to find herself again. Her father battles his illness with bravery and dignity, and her mother a strength unto herself.

The girl’s life is nothing like she had imagined it would be. Her boys are funny, caring and healthy, they challenge and press her, but also give her great joy and comfort. Her Prince, now her King, is by her side still making her laugh and taking care of her.

And life (after her kids) is good. As it should be, and as it will be.

Charity is the author of Life After (my) Kids. When she’s not reading books, she enjoys writing, movies and chocolate. Her life has been full of love, loss, and laughter. As with most women, Charity wears many hats: wife, mom, step-mom, daughter, sister, aunt, ex-wife, friend. Life after her kids isn’t as easy as she had thought it would be – but it sure is better than she imagined.

Connect with Charity Website | Twitter

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13 thoughts on “A Fairy Tale Gone Awry at Life After My Kids (Canadian Feature)

  1. Rene Beaubien

    Thanks for sharing that story – ups and downs and everything in between. It is these experiences that make up our lives and we should appreciate them all for what they bring to us.

  2. NPC

    What a great story and what a neat installment on your blog m’dere. Thanks for sharing, it’s what makes us all so unique. The path we’ve traveled.

  3. Elva Roberts

    Thank you, Charity, for sharing your history with us. I have always told my adult girls that noone gets out of this life unscathed from its troubles and joys. And, it is true, that what doesn”t kill us makes us strong and with more empathy with other humans. What better way to know someone’s sorrow then experiencing it yourself? We do not go looking for tragedy but it does seem to find most of us at one time or many times. The person reading your post , who had the same experiences, will probably benefit from your insights. Thank you, again. Hugs and Prayers.


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