Monday, January 20, 2014

When Your Child Doesn’t Want To Go To School

Child Doesn't Want to Go School MexicoIt was all too much.

Another language. Separated from the sibling that they had known since conception. First time away from Mom. Sitting for three hours*.

All this change resulted in days filled with crying. Not participating in events. Excuses upon excuses. Escaping from class to go to the others classroom**.

Bottom line, he didn’t want to go school.

Not unusual given the circumstances. In fact, I was told that it can take three weeks for a child to adjust to such changes in routine. Even so, it didn’t make my heart hurt any less.

But, it’s not about me.

Why were we sending The Kids to school in the first place?**

Socialization. Culture. Language.

We listened to The Kids. They both wanted to go to school if they were in the same classroom.
We went back to the Director.

It was not to be.

So many thoughts ran through our mind…

If we leave one child in school, will the other one be jealous of all they’ve learned and/or time alone with Mom?

Will waiting a year for total immersion in the culture and language have a long-term affect on the child’s ability to learn the language?***

Will forcing them to go to school make them hate it in the end?

Can they even learn if they don’t want to be there?

 You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.

After seeking professional guidance from those that know The Kids and taking their own feelings into account, as parents we made a decision…

Max will no longer go to school. Artemis will.

Only the future knows if we made the right decision.

Ever Had to Make a Major Decision Like This?

This is Part 3 of The Kids School Saga. Click here to find Part 1 and Part 2.

* We had no idea what school curriculum was like and no information was offered up. In fact, we still don’t know. I guess they just assume that we know. There are no toys in Artemis or Max’s room. He is required to sit at tables with 33 other kids and listen. The whole day. Except for a short recess period. A major difference from what Max has been accustomed to for four years.

** Before seeing the school, we were very concerned about The Kids safety. Our “I’ll teach English” statement was really a thinly veiled excuse to get me inside the school to keep an eye on them. The Kids are required to exit the classroom and go outside to the washroom in another building, by themselves. Thankfully, we have since learned that in the morning, parents (including us), drop their kids off at the front door and the kids (aged 3-6) find their own way to their classroom. At 9am SHARP, the doors are locked. Not to be opened again until 11:50am SHARP. At which time, all the parents enter the school and line up outside The Kids classroom. The teacher stands at the door and personally hands off each child to their parent. We are confident that The Kids are safe. Even so, the teacher can’t be watching Max if he’s wandering outside the classrom.

*** Note that our desire to have The Kids speak Spanish is not solely based on our desire to have them just speak another language. Spanish is their Father’s Mother tongue and a part of who they are.

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20 thoughts on “When Your Child Doesn’t Want To Go To School

  1. Rene

    Well it sounds like the right choice at this junction. Who knows what the future will bring? Glad to hear Artemis is enjoying it so much and it will be interesting for them to be apart so much – definitely a change!

    Reply
  2. Darlene Schuller

    Sarah its a huge change, I think you did the right thing. Who knows, he might just need a few weeks home and it might be longer, but I fully understand your decision and why.

    Reply
  3. francine

    my oldest is starting school soon and I am worried about how he will do. ho0meschooling is not an option for us so I have no choice but to send him to school. I don’t know what i’ll do if he hates school.

    Reply
  4. Rebecca Brown

    I remember going through the same with my kids and school lol Sometimes the right decisions are still some of the toughest to actually decide on.

    Reply
  5. Elva Roberts

    It seems that Life is always about making decisions but, as a parent, it we want our child to be happy and we do the best we can to accomplish that. That’s what being a parent is about. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

    Reply

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