Monday, February 3, 2014

Do Multiples Get Along Better Than Siblings of Different Ages?

Best Friends Mulitples
People often ask me if The Kids get along. To which I answer “Yes, they get along” and then Ed rolls his eyes. Seriously, they do.

But, in the back of my mind, I wonder if that’s what they’re really asking or if there’s more to the question. I wonder if what they really want to know is…

Do Multiples Get Along Better than Siblings of Different Ages?

It’s hard for me to answer that question because I have nothing to compare it to. Well, technically The Kids have two older siblings, but, they have families of their own so it hardly counts.

I could tell you about how my Brother and I, who were 3.5 years apart have always gotten along. How we hardly fought over toys because I didn’t want what he had and how I was a very protective sister. Except maybe those few times that I “accidentally” sat on him and/or kneed him in the groin. But I’m not sure that we’re comparing apples and apples.

So, I’m going to tell you how The Kids interact with each other and let you be the judge.

They are the Best of Friends. Artemis has a bunch of friends here at school (in Mexico) and they know a bunch of kids in Canada, however, they always look forward to playing with each other. It breaks my heart every day when I hear Artemis asking Max if he wants to come to class with her (to which he enthusiastically responds, “YES!”).

They Fight over Insignificant Things. We do not have two of everything. Sometimes, I wish that we did. However, life doesn’t work that way. Besides, sometimes, I have two of the exact same thing, and they still want the one that the other one has. While I know that this happens between siblings of different ages, I imagine that it is intensified with multiples because, being the same age, they often have similar likes. Interestingly, they never fight over attention given to one and not the other. Whether it be by someone they know, like their parents or a stranger.

Their Moods are Ying and Yang. Not once in four years have they tag teamed Ed and I. Not once. When one wakes up in a bad mood (and usually goes to bed in one, smile) the other has an almost angelic day. While one sits there and screams their head off, the other one will quietly eat their cereal and only pause to remind me of all the things that they are doing right (in comparison to their sibling). It’s as if a Polar Meltdown is not occurring. And, it doesn’t matter which kid it is, the behaviour is the same.

One Takes the Role of Caregiver. Nine times out of 10, it’s Artemis that takes on the role of caregiver. It’s who she is as a person. She’ll put her arm in the small of Max’s back and guide him around an obstacle or nurse that which ails him (think hunger in the form of a cookie or thirst in the form of a glass of milk). She happily looks after him and he thinks that her care is the greatest thing since sliced bread. I think that Max just assumes that everyones sisters wipes your bum for you.

They Respect Each Other. As toddlers, they have never hit each other (yet?). We stress “using your words” and this has been an effective communication tool. Sometimes their words are spoken at 4,907 decibels while crying and running after the other child but at four years old, they have yet to purposely harm each other.

While they don’t get along all the time, it’s obvious from their actions that they genuinely like each other. I don’t think that we truly understand how close they are. They have spent every moment together from conception until Artemis went to school. And, even though they have very different personalities, I think that if they weren’t related, they would still choose each other as friends.

Do Your Kids Get Along?

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14 thoughts on “Do Multiples Get Along Better Than Siblings of Different Ages?

  1. Rene

    I love this post. It’s true they have spent every moment together (until recently) so it’s a good thing they get along so well. Thank goodness for the lack of tag teaming though…now that would be rough!

    Reply
  2. Julia

    My older two got along famously when they were little. (15 months age difference) but now that they are both almost teens it’s a love hate for sure. One minute they will be playing nicely and the next fists are flying. My DH assures me it’s normal (he comes from a family off 11), but I find it so odd. I think ages, boy/girl, and temperament play into it so much.
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  3. Valerie Godin

    I’m lucky that our 4 boys love playing with each other, maybe it’s the age i don’t know but so far so good!

    Reply
  4. francine

    apparently my kids get along better when i’m not around. they get along most of the time but my oldest has a tendency to take things away from his brother… when my husband and I go out and leave them with a babysitter (always my mom and its rare) apparently my oldest keeps trying to give his brother toys to make him feel better. (or so my mom says I have my doubts based on my experiences with them lol)

    Reply
  5. A.Smith

    I only have one daughter but I grew up with a sister and we fought like cats and dogs. It was ugly but if anybody else tried to fight with one of us we would unite like peas in a pod.

    Reply
  6. Susan T.

    They are so cute! It is nice that they get along. I’m an only child so I have no experience with this personally but I think it is likely easier to get along with a sibling when they are the same age or close to it.

    Reply
  7. Elizabeth Matthiesen

    I’m a twin myself and I think I got along with my sister – though she was a tattle-tale. What I found hard was that when I met up with someone by chance, their first question was always ‘where’s Anne’ as if I was incomplete on my own – very weird.

    Reply
  8. Brenda A

    This is very heart-warming. It is so special to have siblings that know there is someone out there who will always have their back. I have two girls who are 2 years apart and truly love each other, playing happily for hours at a time. They seek each other out on the school yard and miss one another when apart. I love it this way!

    Reply

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