Free Advice is Worth What You Paid For It… Nothing.
Well, unless you do pay for advice and then it’s worth whatever you paid for it and since I don’t know, I can’t give you my advice on whether you got a good deal or not.
Seriously. I try not to give advice. However, I’m not perfect and I’ve given my fair share of advice. Most of which I’ve regretted. It’s changed relationships. Not for the better.
But, I made a choice and that choice has consequences. That’s the way life is.
Sometimes I try not and think about it because it’s just such a huge concept that it scares me. However, it’s always in the back of my mind.
Ed and I learned a lot about making choices when The Kids were in the hospital. At the end of Alexander’s life, we had to make a choice between death or death. Fortunately, even in such a dire situation, no one gave us advice.
How could any one else know what was right for us?
I understand that generally*, the person giving the advice really wants the best for the other person but there is no way for them to know what that looks like. Take my friend “Jane”. In a nutshell, her story is:
- Her husband had an affair.
- She didn’t like it.
- He moved out.
- He now wants to work on their relationship.
I don’t know if he’s genuine. If the relationship can be saved. If he and/or she can live with the consequences of their actions. Truth be told, he sounds like a real jerk but, she didn’t ask for my opinion and even if she did, how would I know if she should take him back or not.
However, I do know that her friends (who likely know her better than I), are telling her to “be strong”, “remember that he treated her like crap”, “he’s just regretful because the grass isn’t as green on the other side”. All valid statements I’m sure except that what if she wants to take him back. What if it’s the right thing for her to do right now. Maybe she’ll feel like no one is supporting her in her right to change her mind.
And it is her right. It is her life**.
Do You Give Advice?
* Unless of course the person wants you to breakup with your boyfriend so that they can date them. Trust me, it happens.
** Note that as far as I am aware, neither she nor the children are in any harm. Otherwise, all bets are off.