Friday, August 15, 2014

I Should Lie More To My Kids

Lie More to My Kids Graphic

I Should Lie More To My Kids

Yes, you read that correctly… MORE. If you know me at all, you know that I’m usually joking. However, this is one time that I’m being totally serious.

I don’t write a lot about our parenting styles because the more I read, the more I realize that we (and I use the term “we” loosely, I really should just say “I”) are a “bit different”.

When I was growing up, Santa Claus was real. If you were good all year long or at least for a period of time that exceeded your parents ability to get a refund then you would wake up December 25 to something special under the tree.

Yes. Well.

We don’t have a chimney and have never had a Christmas tree so to be fair to Santa, he wouldn’t have anywhere to put his presents. One reason why we don’t have a tree is because we leave the country in early December (not to return until April) and it’s not the culture to put up trees in Mexico. If you want the second reason then you can read my post titled my non-traditional holiday tradition. I told you I was different.

Last year, I decided that I needed to tell The Kids some story about Santa. If only to save their peers from the devastation of finding out that he didn’t exist. So I came up with my first lie.

Santa Claus brings toys to those in need.

Yes, that’s my lie and I can sleep well at night. You see, The Kids receive 3,561 toys throughout the year and their birthday is in December so they really don’t need more stuff that I’ll just trip over. Besides, I’m not really sure of the history of Santa Claus but personally, I find it a very commercial occasion. And so goes the way of the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Valentines Day, Parents Day and the list goes on.

My poor kids.

We’re going to the “Walking with the Dinosaurs” show next week and for 30 seconds I was worried that being only four years old, The Kids might be scared of these big lumbering beasts, But then I remembered that they know that Dinosaurs don’t exist and neither do dragons, ghost or goblins.

Is there some manual somewhere that references the need for kids to believe in hocus pocus to grow up “normal”? I put the term “normal” in quotes because we all know that genetics plays a part and well, I am their Mother.

My poor kids.

Artemis truly believes that she’ll be a princess when she grows up. I have yet to educate her on the statistics associated with that dream. Maybe I’ll just lie and tell her that I’m a Queen so that means that she’s a Princess. I can live with that.

Do You Lie to Your Kids?

Note that this post is not my fault. There I was minding my own business, otherwise known as procrastinating and I came upon this post by Working Mom Magic titled “I Lie To My Kids”. And it got me to thinking…

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46 thoughts on “I Should Lie More To My Kids”

  1. Soozle

    Ha 🙂 I honestly dont think there is anything wrong with what you are saying! Kids are KIDS – sometimes the truth can hurt them/their innocence.. or just to encourage their imagination (your daughter being a princess)… If it doesn’t hurt them, and it meant to protect them/encourage… why not?

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  5. AlwaysARedhead

    I lie regularly, my kids are 25, 22 and almost 20 and I still tell them there is a Santa Claus and like good kids they play along, same with the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy (though they haven’t needed a visit from the Tooth Fairy in years).

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  6. Kayla @ TheEclecticElement

    I grew up with the traditional knowledge and belief of the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, and Santa Clause. Actually, truth be told, I believe in Santa until I was about 15 years old! We’ll just say I wasn’t ready to give up my childhood yet. LOL

    That being said, I don’t necessarily think it’s a bad thing to tell your kids Santa only gives to those in need, especially if you’re already shelling out money for their birthdays and other holidays throughout the year. It may not be ‘traditional’ but it sounds like you’re not a traditional kinda family and that’s JUST fine 🙂
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  9. Ali P

    I’m pretty honest with kids when it comes to most things, but lie about stuff that doesn’t really matter. ie: Santa- Yes, he’s real! The Easter Bunny, etc.

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      1. Ali P

        For sure! Got a kick out of my 8 year old last fall. She told me it was a good thing that Santa brought a lot of the presents because it would cost me a fortune otherwise. lol

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  10. Amy Lovell

    Yes! My daughter asks THOUSANDS of questions per DAY!!! So if I hitting my breaking point I for sure start making things up to satisfy her. She now thinks that ladybugs are the tooth fairies helpers. haha

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  13. Peady

    Thinking: this is where all our trouble begins, isn’t it? 😀

    I like your style. It takes all kinds to make the world go round and no two families have the exact same traditions, anyway. There’s nothing wrong with being unique! I like it!

    I am sure your kiddos will be just fine.

    Also, thanks for the reminder. I need a new tiara. :>
    Peady recently posted…I am the Don Music of Guest BloggingMy Profile

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  15. KD

    We don`t do the Easter Bunny, etc. either.

    For Santa Claus, we did what my parents told us–it`s part real and part pretend. They told us about the real Saint Nicholas, and then that the rest about Santa is pretend, but it’s fun to pretend sometimes.

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  16. Jesselyn A/Jesstinger

    For better or worse, my parents did (usually) lie to us: so we never got to enjoy fantasies of the Easter Bunny, the Great Pumpkin or even Santa Claus (I think we MIGHT have believed in the Tooth Fairy…)

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      1. Jesselyn A/Jesstinger

        How kind of you Sarah! And YES~ the season was still magical because there was so much “magic” in the air and all around me/us. And now that I think about it, it was less that they told us and more that they confirmed it (I think it was actually our seven older than us big brother who found pleasure in informing us at a very tender age…

        THAT said, VERY early on they tried to fool us, first my Dad and then my n’er-do-well brother who dressed up and pretended to be Santa Claus… (we didn’t have much money so the Santa costume was my Mom’s very recognizable red winter coat (too big for my brother, too small for my dad.) They both looked so ridiculous it really was great fun. My sister and I always went along with it, but then would make a point to notice (very innocently) that Dad (or brother) coincidentally (the one in question) always just happened to be out of the room when Santa showed up. it was all really great fun for all of us!

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  17. Jody D

    I went with the truth the majority of the time with my girls. Encouraged imagination, not the fantasies I guess. But there were a few times a lie had to be told to protect them from some pain or guilt. (where the dog we had that turned and took a bit at my youngest went….)

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    1. Sarah Post author

      Dear Jody,

      Makes sense. Kids don’t process things the same way adults do. In turn, I really try and read the cues from my kids.

      After Aries The Cat died and was buried, The Kids haven’t spoken much about her death and where she went so I haven’t brought it up. We do talk about her life regularly and the same goes for their brother Alexander. It’s more about life in our household.

      Besos, Sarah
      Sarah recently posted…Explore Your Kids Artistic Interests at the Art Gallery of Ontario #TorontoMy Profile

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      1. Jody D

        Well said. It is such a personal decision as a parent and we all have to weigh the risks/benefits. Good discussion to have I think! Thanks!

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  19. Elva Roberts

    I think you are very original in your thinking and there is nothing wrong with that. My daughter, when she was young, was helping to clean the ditches near our home. She was very enthused because she mused that ‘she might possibly find some diamonds.’
    I did not discourage her and not finding diamonds did not seem to discourage her. The ditches were cleaned and all ended well.

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  21. Ronald G

    No I don’t think lying even with the best intentions ever works out in the long run…and then there could be hurt

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  22. Nancy

    I think the “Santa Claus only brings toys to those in need” lie is a pretty decent one. I mean, we can live with that, make us feel somewhat better since anyone can technically be someone else’s Santa, but for those who are less fortunate. This might be a chance to help out the local toy drive, no?

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  24. Maria Medeiros

    A really wonderful post! Last Christmas my eldest daughter looked at santa in a funny way and she came up to me and said, “that santa is wearing a fake beard, its not the real Santa. I was laughing and told her that Santa is busy at the North Pole so he had to get all his helpers to visit the mall. 😀 She now has Elf on the Shelf. She loves Elf on the Shelf because she knows that’s the direct way to connect to Santa in the North Pole. 😀 haha
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  25. Elizabeth Matthiesen

    I try not to lie ever, I might lie not to hurt someone’s feelings but that’s about it. Things like Santa & the tooth fairy are traditions that I have kept going for my children, as long as they were ready to believe then that was fine with me. I was shocked on coming to Canada to discover how commercialised Valentine’s Day is here – why do Kindergarten children need to hand out cards on that day? That is definitely not the idea behind this special day. A lot of the special days, Halloween, Graduation etc etc have now invaded Europe too and that is all just commercialisation.

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