Way back when, I told you that I was going to post about my life as a Championship Downhill Skier.

Before you go and get all mad at me for misleading you, I want to state right from the get go that tearing my knee cartilage for the first time actually had nothing to do with Skiing.

Have no fear, I’ll be all over the Slalom and Bevelled Edges in a bit but first I want to bore enlighten you with “The Time I Tore My Knee Cartilage Highjumping”.

Highjumping is Dangerous.  Just like Chess.

Yes, you read that correctly. Chess is dangerous. Not that I’d know from experience as I don’t actually play (not from lack of trying).

I imagine that if you pushed the timer button enough times, you could develop a blister on your finger.

Or, a flying rook could poke you in the eye (while it’s not technically listed under chess etiquette, I imagine it’s not cool to throw pieces at one another).

D.a.n.g.e.r.o.u.s.

Back to highjumping. One day in 1985, I threw caution to the wind (I’ve been known to try and show-off tilt at windmills), and decided to hurtle and not highjump the highjump.

I’m not sure whether I went over or under the bar but I do remember that I sailed full over the large mattress and right by the adult standing there to prevent such an occasion. I landed on the ground. On my knee. With nothing to slow me down.

It should come as no surprise that I hurt myself.

I ended up dislocating my knee.

I can’t really remember whether it was the act of falling or the act of undislocating (or is that relocating) my knee that tore my cartilage but it wasn’t good. Back to the hospital we went. A regular occurrence for the parents of a Championship Downhill Skiier. In the end, I had to have my first (of two) arthroscopic knee surgeries.

The worst part, I ended up having to miss the end-of-year school trip to Canada’s Wonderland. The second worst part, this event happened the second last day of school. You’d have thought with any luck, this would have happened at the beginning of school.

What does any of this have to do with my being a Championship Skiier?

Nothing.

Originally, I think that I was going to segway into how I tore the nerves, muscles and veins in my face when I did a faceplant on 10 pieces of jagged wood and how I have a 2″ scar on my face to prove it. But, that would make a lot of people squeamish so I won’t even mention it.

Perhaps I was going to tell you about the second time I tore my knee cartilage (this time I actually was skiing) and had to take the red-eye home from Calgary and head straight to the hospital for a second knee surgery.

Or maybe the time that I.

I think I know what I wanted to write about… Skiing is Dangerous.