I think I start out all of my posts about Alexander with a sigh. Almost four years on and it’s not any easier. Just different.
My grief is no longer physiological as well as psychological. I don’t need to remind myself to breath.
In case you didn’t know, Alexander was born December 11, 2009 and nine days later he was gone… from this world.
But I still care for him.
You should see the looks I get when I tell people that I “care for three children”. I mean, people can count and two doesn’t equal three any day of the week.
Once, someone even congratulated me for being pregnant with my third child.
I understand that you may think I’m crazy. I thought I was for a while too. But I’m not.
If you know someone who has lost a child, and you’re afraid to mention them because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that they died–you’re not reminding them. They didn’t forget they died. What you’re reminding them of is that you remembered that they lived, and that is a great gift –Elizabeth Edwards
I remember the moments right after Alexander died. He needed a bath and for whatever reason, I had to put him down for a minute. The nurse suggested the counter, which was the most logical place and where I had put Max and Artemis several times. The only problem was that there wasn’t a towel there and I didn’t want him to be uncomfortable on the cold, hard surface.
It never crossed my mind that he might not know the difference.
And life goes on.
The Kids share their toys with him, invite him to tea parties, tease him and put money in his piggyback. I dress his picture up in silly clothes and remind him that he too needs to share with his siblings.
And I kiss his picture every night and tell him I love him. He needs to know that he is loved.
Equally important, Max and Artemis need to know that if it had been them that had passed away, they too would have mattered.
Even in death, I still care for him.
Do You Know Someone that has Lost a Child?
If you have a story that you’d like to share, please leave the link below. I would love to read about your child.
Note that I do not own the rights to the above image.