Friday, July 6, 2012

I (Almost) Sold my Brother for 25 Cents

In order to maintain the chronology of my life story, I need to tell you about the time that I (almost) sold my brother for the whooping sum of 25 cents (in 1975 that was like $4,567,980,321,450).The story actually begins six months before the successful fateful day.It was the day that we picked my brother up from the adoption agency and brought him home. I was almost four years old.

I think that this event is one of my earliest memories. Interesting the things that we remember.

To this point, I was spoiled rotten the only child. My world as I knew it was over and I was pissed not pleased.

I played it cool but my repeated attempts to smother love him were all foiled.

So I came up with Plan B.

My mother was having a get together with a whole bunch of suckers nice ladies. I donned my apron (can still picture it today), inserted a plethera of dolls in each of the four front pockets and went about selling my wares.

As legend goes, I walked around yelling “Babies for Saaaale, Babies for Saaaale”. Finally I had an unsuspecting fool taker and the deal was sealed with a quarter.

Little did she know.

Not one to renege on my promises, I immediately ran upstairs to my brothers room, took him out of his crib and attempted to leave the premises. I was going to load him into her car (or anyones for that matter). Talk about customer service!

Needless to say, my Plan (to rid myself of this parasite) was once again foiled.

On to Plan C.

All was not lost, I got to keep the quarter.

Be sure to check back next week when I tell you the story about…

“How I Pooped my Pants”!

Get Caught up in the Series, it’s Addictive!

8. I Tore my Knee Cartilage While Highjumping,
7. I Got Migraines to Avoid Ballet,
6. I Cut off all my Hair and gave it to Barbie
5. I Got Kicked out of Brownies,
4. I Pooped My Pants
3. I Almost Sold my Brother for 25 Cents
2. I Was Adopted,
1. I Was Born.

You might also like:

I Tore my Knee Cartilage While Highjumping Journeys of The ZooI Got Kicked out of Brownies pooped pants droopy diaperThe Time I Pooped My Pants

14 thoughts on “I (Almost) Sold my Brother for 25 Cents”

  1. Canadian Dad

    Awesome stuff! My kids are 2 & 4 at the moment and I could totally see my son trying to pull something like this! They act so loving and kind while you are around but we all know what goes on behind closed doors.

    Reply ↓
  11. Crafty Zoo

    That's awesome!!! Cracked me up. I was seven when my little brother was born and did some pretty rotten things too. Though I will admit I never tried to sell him… Should have thought of that!!!

    Reply ↓

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