The hour was a huge success (besides the fact that I didn’t manage to complete my main goal of showering) and by the time they got to the front door, my slate was clean.
And then they walked IN the door.
Each child was carrying so many boxes that it looked like the Headless Horseman had gotten to them. And like they didn’t have enough toys already, Ed also had a few bags slung over each shoulder.
Max wanted to tell me all about the marble run** he received and Artemis couldn’t stop talking about the cookies that we were going to bake and decorate with her Easy Bake Decorating Sensation Frosting Pen.
To say that I don’t cook or bake is an understatement. Well, there was that one other time and let’s just say that it didn’t turn out very well. But, to see the look of excitement on Artemis’ face I knew that there was no way that I could say “No”.
Fortunately, Rene and the gang were coming over for a visit the next day and Rene knows how to bake really well. So, she made and brought coloured frosting (I don’t even have sugar or whatever you would need to make it) and I dusted off a box of cake mix that I had. Cake mix. Cookie mix. Close enough.
By this point, I’m sure you’re thinking the same thing that I’m thinking…
“Where’s the Easy Bake Oven?”
I hear you.
Oh well, nothing lost because we had all the fixings we needed and were ready to go.
Except for one little thing. Apparently you have to add eggs and vegetable oil to the cake mix.
Of course we had eggs but I never have vegetable oil. While I’m quick to substitute things (like cake mix for cookie mix), I knew that olive oil just wouldn’t cut it. So we came up with “Plan B”… applesauce. Except, The Kids had eaten the last serving that morning and I didn’t have any apples.
Of course not.
Am I the only person that doesn’t have the ingredients necessary to whip up a batch of cookies. That was a rhetorical question.
So, unfortunately, cookie baking would have to wait for another “sleep”.
In the morning, before I even had my eyes open, Artemis was shaking me and asking if today was the day that we were going to decorate cookies. Why are kids like elephants?
I got myself dressed, grabbed my list and headed to the store for the remaining ingredient; vegetable oil. Except, I’d forgotten to put it on the list. You can see where this is heading.
By this point, I’m back home and while I’m cutting up apples to MAKE APPLESAUCE, I’m thinking, “The Kids are never, ever going over to Uncle Mikes again!”
After I make the applesauce, mix up the cake and make 53 temperature adjustments for the fact that I’m making cookies*** with cake mix, I’m ready to actually look at this thing that started it all the …
…Easy Bake Decorating Pen
Did I mention that it uses batteries.
In case you’re keeping track, this pen, herein referred to as the “bane of my existence” has taken up two days of my time, gotten me out of bed two hours early, caused me to make a special trip into the store (a 20-minute drive each way), make applesauce and bake a cake. Cookie. Whatever.
But luck was on my side because we have batteries. In fact, we have industrial quantities of batteries. You see, Ed recently went to a golf tournament (no, he doesn’t actually golf) and won a 60-pack of batteries.
Ha ha pen, you will not get me this time!
Did I mention that the screws were two inches deep and so tiny that only an eye glasses screwdriver with an extra long arm could get them out.
By this point, I’m wondering if Artemis would be willing to accept a unicorn in exchange for making cookies because clearly I had a better chance of giving her that than anything decorated with the pen.
Yes, the pen. Are you loving it as much as I am?
We managed to get the battery door off but couldn’t get it back on. So, the deal was that if Artemis wanted to use it then she had to hold the back on while also pressing down on the button to make the lever move and dispense the icing. Note to self, never buy anything that has an 8-page user manual.
Have I lost you yet?
When all was said and done, I had a daughter that was asking me when we could make cookies, cake, cupcakes, whatever, again.
Ever Had Something Not Quite Go Your Way
But Turn Out Okay in the End?
Disclosure: This is in no way a sponsored post. At all. Not even a smidgen.
P.S. Always have a backup plan to the backup plan and make cupcakes!
P.P.S. Yes, I’m thinking what you’re thinking.
* Note that names may have been changed. Or not.
** I plan on buying Max this Wooden Quadrilla Marble Run Set for his birthday.
*** May I suggest that you don’t use cake mix as a replacement for cookie mix. Just trust me on this one.