It’s been 41 years since the first and last time that we set eyes on each other. I don’t remember anything about that event. I’m sure you do. Every year, on the day of my birth, I think about you… about being adopted. All day. If we ever meet again, I want you to know what I’ve always wanted to say to you.
Dear Biological Mother,
I think about how you’re thinking about me. Wondering if I’m okay. If you made the right choice. Probably a lot of other thoughts too.
On my 18th birthday, my Mother was so excited to share all the contents of my adoption folder with me. I loved hearing all about you and my Biological Father. It appears that I am a lot like him in personality and looks. I always tell myself that when the time is right, I’ll make the necessary call and find you.
I guess it’s not time yet.
I have daydreams about having you wait at a bus stop while I’m on the third story of a building. Watching your every move and nuance. Do I look like you?
Some of my fellow adoptees believe that adoption is the easy way out.
That is not how I feel.
I think that placing your child for adoption is one of the most difficult decisions that a parent can make.
Prior to December 19, 2009, I didn’t fully understand the sacrifice that you made.
Since losing Alexander, I can’t imagine choosing to live without your child. I feel connected to all that you no longer have. Not as my Biological Mother but as a person that has lost.
I hope that your heart doesn’t stop beating for me, like mine does for Alexander.
I hope that you know that you made the right decision.
If not for You… For Me.
If we ever meet, whether in person or otherwise, there are two words that I have been saving for 41 years…
— Journeys of The Zoo (@zoojourneys) April 18, 2015
To All My Friends: As always, please feel free to ask me any questions about my adoption.